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Sunday, March 14, 2010

fail better

These outfits may be from three weeks ago, but the idea that I need to FAIL BETTER is completely fresh. Here's the game plan:

So since I can't accomplish anything (anything) without being half-assed unless I make a decision, I'm going to make a decision. Right now.

I am going to perform at 100% for linguistics (I don't think I can do any less for something I actually like...) and at least 90% for computer science/math (because it's hard for me to go all-out for things I don't love). 90% isn't everything, but it's more than I'm giving it right now. I know this adds up to 190%, but I never said I was good at math. (Which is why I need to work harder at it.)

Why? Why not choose uncertainty, and excitement, and fear? Because this decision is easier to back out of. It's never too late to feed your inner 6-year-old with crayons. But it can be too late to set yourself up for a secure future. And if I decide later that I want to tell security to fuck off, I can. But for now, I need to lay a path for myself that lets me have the most options available later.

It's like me choosing to go to Cal over UCLA. Because I knew I would regret it less later.

And now that I've made that decision, and now that it's public, my life just got a lot simpler. Prioritizing what to do with my time/self/effort is going on autopilot in 3... 2... 1...

Gray crew-neck sweatshirt: Target. Blue fake pashmina: gift. Skinny jeans: Levi's 518. Sneakers: Harajuku Lovers.

Dark gray longsleeve: Target. Rain jacket: no idea. Teal fake pashmina: gift. Semi-sheer gray tights: DKNY. Over-the-knee socks: gift. Rain boots: Hunter.

P. S. New photo spot, because flash is the devil indeed.

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