Pages

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Rape in Fiction-- How Perceptions May Vary by Gender

Last week I put up a post about Literary Deal Breakers. I was inspired to put the post up due to a strong reaction I had as I tried to read Prince of Thorns by Mark Lawrence and the conversation that followed made me think of how men and women react to literary content differently-- especially when it comes to the delicate subject of rape.



Whenever this topic comes up, it's inevitable that someone will say something along the lines of murder is worse than rape and walk away from the subject as if that was some kind of conversational coup de grĂ¢ce. End of discussion. I win. You lose.



Except it's not the end of the conversation if you're a woman.



Now, I'm not arguing that rape is worse than murder. But I am arguing that it is something that is, unfortunately, a real threat to most women-- more than it could ever be to most men. And that makes it harder to read about than most anything-- even murder.



When I read fantasy fiction, it's not unusual to read about murderers and thieves. Assassins are frequently main characters and, against all common sense, they can be written to be sympathetic characters. But rapists? They don't engender any sympathy in my opinion. So why the difference?



I can only answer that from a woman's perspective-- and one woman's at that. But something tells me I won't be alone in my thinking.



Where to start?



Being female means knowing that we have physical limitations when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex. This is something we become aware of very young. I had three older brothers and learned how to throw a good right-hook before I knew how to ride a bike. But I was never under the illusion that I was going to beat them at arm-wrestling. Your average feminist will hate me for saying it, but men are women are different. Simple as that. As I got older, gender differences became more pronounced for obvious reasons and I learned to be wary of men who exuded a certain aura. My caution has served me well. I've been stalked (before anyone knew the meaning of the word) by someone who called into my job and described what I was wearing on a daily basis-- but I've never been attacked. I'd be interested to know how many women out there have similar experiences-- and how many men really understand the feeling of vulnerability that comes so naturally to my gender.



So how does this translate to fiction?



When we read stories about murder and mayhem it's usually in some kind of hyper-reality. It might be in the context of a horror novel or an epic fantasy, or maybe a cable drama about a serial killer. But there are usually clear lines between fantasy and reality because most people have a natural aversion to casual criminality. If we are meant to sympathize with a killer, the set-up often includes a thread of vigilantism in which the 'victims' are the type of people we can tell ourselves have it coming. We also know that these are not scenarios we'd accept in the real world.



But rape cannot be introduced into a story as easily because it's impossible to say that a character deserves to brutalized in such a way. And no matter how repugnant a character is-- the person performing the act has to be worse in this situation. No way around it. So it's nearly impossible to make a rapist a sympathetic character. And seeing someone we like forced into the situation is so close to our own fears is extraordinarily hard to read. In the rare instance that a male character is similarly attacked it's often framed in the context of a prison-yard attack and, much like reality, it's about establishing a very ugly power structure and we're not likely to have any empathy for the instigators in that situation either.



Does that mean I think rape should never be addressed in literature? Of course not. But it's a minefield like no other. If it presented as almost a passing thought, a throwaway scene, it has a high likelihood to offend because it will appear to a female reader that the writer not only doesn't "get" the weight of this crime, but also that they don't care.



It's just a book...What's the big deal?



The thing with rape is that it is primarily a crime against women. There are still cultures that blame the woman if she is victimized. Even worse, there are societies that know women will be rejected by their family if they are raped, so it becomes a very effective tool of war. Women know that every man has the power to victimize her in a very particular way and that we cannot know when this threat will surface. We can't walk to our cars at night free of worry and we have different standards for safety when it comes to our sons and daughters because of it--how many sons have to be told to guard their drinks when going to a bar against date-rape drugs? This is the bogeyman of a lot of women's nightmares.



And the trickiness of the topic doesn't just end with the crime, it continues with the aftermath. How is it possible to convey the proper gravity or sympathy for the character? How long is the victim supposed to dwell on the act before the reader is satisfied? How long before we say get over it already? Or do we have the right to say that at all?



I'm not sure why anyone would want to tackle this monster.



I can understand the desire to stay true to the integrity of a story and include rape as part of the storyline if it is important to the narrative. But it's the kind of thing that can't be handled casually in my opinion. I do see it more in popular fiction as the popularity of urban fantasy increases along with the number of leading female characters who throw themselves in harm's way. But whether or not it's a wise decision to make it part of the story is debatable in my opinion.



Ultimately I think it's something that can't be viewed equally by men and women because it's going to resonate as a more realistic threat to women and no one likes to be reminded of their vulnerabilities--or worse, have them dismissed too easily.

Blogging Women Featured Blog Contest Winners - June 2011

A big thank you to everyone who entered our June 2011 "Featured Blogs" contest. Each month we receive more and more entries for a chance to be listed in the Featured Blogs Section! Congratulations to the six blog winners!Featured Blogs for the Month of June:Freebie Fanatics - Your guide for finding quality freebies. Here you'll find some of the best free stuff available on the Internet. Free

17 May 11

drawbridge
On our final day in Napa Valley, we went to Castello di Amorosa - a Tuscan-style castle that is also a winery. Then we had lunch in Calistoga at a bistro that Keith Richards and Mick Jagger apparently ate at, and spent the rest of the day driving along the 101 to Eureka.
A few more photos here.

16 May 11

Winchester Mansion
We drove down to San Jose to go to the Winchester Mystery House. It wasn't as creepy as I expected, but it was still very interesting and historical. And the lady was obviously batshit crazy.
In the evening we had dinner at Farmstead, which is a restaurant attached to a winery and farm in St. Helena. Most of their menu comes directly from the farm, and it's not often I'd describe a cheeseburger as mindblowing, but it certainly was.

The Worthless Woman

Blog Name: The Worthless Woman Category: Humor Owner: Anna Description: A woman's cynical way to survive the madness of marriage and children.Blog URL: http://theworthlesswoman.blogspot.com/Feed URL: N/AVisit: The Worthless WomanTech Tags: marriage parenting life being a woman women women's blogs blog promotion The Worthless Woman Blogging Women

Monday, May 30, 2011

15 May 11

sore eyes
Jeff and I decided to go to a few other wineries with the car on the day following the bike tour. By far our favourite was Peju, where the wine was delicious, the winery beautiful, and the service fantastic. But we also quite enjoyed Franciscan, where they had a lovely patio and the woman serving us waived the tasting fee and kept giving us free tastings because we made a list of Okanagan wineries she should go to when she visits there.
I got heckled everywhere because of my Canucks jersey, and in the evening we went to a pub to watch the game amidst Sharks fans, and after we won we had another Italian dinner down the street.

Why Do We Buy?

I'm obviously a shoe addict. I buy shoes on an almost weekly basis and my shoe "closet" is overflowing with shoes... I know that sounds great but it's really getting ridiculous. I think I may have a problem.

I was shopping this week and trying on a really awesome pair of glittery sky high Louboutins and was about to buy them when my friend, a sales associate at the boutique, casually asked "What are you buying them for?"

Huh?

What did she mean? I was buying them cause I wanted them! Did I need a specific reason? Do people buy shoes for a purpose other than having a fabulous pair of shoes? This may sound totally silly but I think this just hit me- I buy shoes without actually thinking about when/where I'm going to wear them. It never occurred to me that I was doing this but when I actually think about it, I feel like a total ass.

I blame my job. As a shoe designer we're constantly shopping, or as we like to call it- it "researching". We have to be on top of all the current trends and know all the hot shoes, but a side affect of that is, of course, wanting shoes for ourselves.  I've gotten to the point where I find myself buying shoes just to have them. If I used this "where are you going to wear them" logic, I bet I'd have about half the shoes I have.

Some examples?
Well, these DSquared spine heels are a great example. Where can I wear these? I wore them a couple of times so far. Once to the mall just to show them to all my friends (I'm a total mall rat if you didn't know) and another time or two to I forget where. They're high and fragile and not exactly comfortable, but they're works of art!





Another pair I just had to have? These Fendi Cinderella shoes. I wore them once to the Emmys last year and they were painfully uncomfortable so I never wore them again. But gosh they're beautiful...




Ok, one more! These boots that I just HAD to have. But again, I didn't think about where I'd wear them. I mean, they're suede! I'm terrified to wear them in case I ruin them... but boy are they pretty.






I could go on and on and on. I've decided to clean and organize my shoes and really look at what I have. I need to make an effort to buy more consciously!! I know that doesn't sound like much fun but If I don't slow down my shoes are going to take over our house! Look at this room- it's crazy. I'm like a shoe hoarder!


WHAT A MESS! I'll post an after photo as soon as I get it under control ;)

What about you? Do you think before you buy?? Do you always have a plan before you shop or are you guilty of impulse buying too?



xox

common denominators

SURPRISE! Here is a pop quiz.

QUESTIONS:

1. What is the common denominator?
  • 12
  • 34
  • 38
2. What is the common denominator?
  • "A Blessing" by James Wright
  • "Araby" from Dubliners by James Joyce
  • Genesis from the Bible
  • The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway
3. What is the common denominator?
  • Lawrence Selden
  • Robbie Turner
  • Charlie Weasley
  • Humbert Humbert
4. What is the common denominator?


ANSWER KEY:
  1. 8
  2. things that were required reading from high school but which I wholeheartedly recommend
  3. male literary characters whom I would totally bone
  4. boring outfits involving a pleated, polka-dotted skirt
Here are the rest of the photos:

First outfit, cardigan: courtesy of Christine. Velvet t-shirt: thrifted. Skirt: courtesy of Christine. Tights: BP Nordstrom. Saddle shoes: Payless. Bracelet: jump rings + washers, DIY necklace worn on wrist.

Second outfit, top: courtesy of Christine. Skirt: courtesy of Christine. Tights: BP Nordstrom. Black and white oxfords: Miz Mooz.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

14 May 11

oils & salts
We rented bikes in Yountville and went on a self-guided tour around wine country. I think we went to about 6 or 7 different ones, and our backpacks got heavier and heavier... though I must say, after visiting the Okanagan wineries I was not prepared for such expensive tastings! Some places went up as high as $30, and almost nowhere were the fees waived with purchase.
Pictured above is a place called the St. Helena Olive Oil Company, and it was full of wonderful culinary things like truffle salt and tapenade. After returning our bikes and changing clothes and things, we had dinner at a fantastic Italian restaurant which resides in an old bank building.

How Did I Get Talked Into This?

My dear husband is a HUGE fan of the band Kiss. Somehow I agreed to go to a concert this evening.



I hope my ears survive.



13 May 11

Lombard & Hyde
Jimm's fears of flying have come a long way, since he flew alone on Friday the 13th to Oakland in order to meet us. After picking him up we spent the day wandering around in San Francisco. I tricked everyone into walking up Hyde Street to Russian Hill, but they all agreed that the view from the top of Lombard Street made it worth it. We ate sushi at a restaurant near there, and passed Grace Cathedral as we walked for ages back to the parking garage.
A few more photos here.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

12 May 11

mother dough
In California Adventure there is a restaurant that is also a bread factory! I took this picture of the mother sourdough because it looks like a nursery of sleeping bread babies.
Jeff and Alice and I rode the fantastic coaster and the Hollywood Tower Hotel, my favourite ride ever. Then we had dinner at the Rainforest Café for some reason and we all thought our waiter's name was something completely different. (His name was actually Chad, not David or Mike or Jason.)

succinct

I don't have much to say about this outfit, except that I wore in on February 28th, and on that day, in my file called thanks.doc, I wrote that I was thankful for "going to bed dirty and tired," which pretty much sums it up:

Red plaid coat: delia's. Sweater: uncle's. Polka-dotted pleated skirt: courtesy of Christine. T-shirt: Cal Student Store. Tights: generic. Socks: Sanrio, gift. Saddle shoes: Payless.

Friday, May 27, 2011

10 May 11

shadowed
After a pretty warm day we got dressed up for dinner at Napa Rose. The bill was unspeakable, but the food was so incredible and I can't remember the last time I had such good service. We went back to the hotel overly full and moderately drunk.

Tumblr Roundup May 27, 2011

My week in shoes:

 (miu miu)

 (chloe sevigny x opening ceremony)

(balenciaga) 

(versace)  

(converse) 

(gianmarco lorenzi)


For more, follow my tumblr :)

Have an AMAZING (and safe) Memorial Day weekend!

Book Review: Star Wars - Conviction by Aaron Allston



Unlike some of the other Star Wars books I’ve reviewed recently for this blog, Aaron Allston’s Conviction is not really a good book for newcomers to just hop in and read. This is the seventh book in the Fate of the Jedi series, which in itself takes place decades after Return of the Jedi and assumes the reader has some knowledge of all that has transpired since (such as Luke Skywalker getting married and having a son of his own). I’m not going to spend any time in this review going over all the plots that have brought the series to this point, instead just focusing on the three main plotlines of this specific novel and the pluses and minuses of the story.

The main action takes place on the city-world of Coruscant, and it’s easily the best part of this story. It is here that the Jedi are putting into motion a plan to overthrow the government, deciding that former Imperial Admiral Daala (and current Chief of State of the Galactic Alliance) is a danger and must be forcibly removed from power. Ironicially, there are other conspirators looking to take down the weakened Daala, and they find themselves as strange bedfellows in the aftermath of the coup. Also on the line is the result of the trial of former Jedi Knight Tahiri, accused of murder while under the influence of the Sith. With the Jedi taking control of the government what kind of backlash might she see in the courtroom – where her death sentence is all but confirmed. Former Jedi Knight and former Chief of State will find themselves teaming up with Boba Fett in order to escape their Conviction.

Because of their actions on Coruscant, the Jedi are looking for a way to do some damage control – and they find it in the form of trying to help the slave revolts going on throughout the galaxy. Han and Leia, along with their granddaughter Allana, are sent to Klatooine to throw their support behind the most prominent revolt. Meanwhile Luke and his son Ben, along with the Sith girl Vestara, continue to track the dark side creature Abeloth through to the planet Nam Chorios. They wind up getting involved in solving the mysterious death of a scientist investigating various uses for the Death Seed plague, found only on this one planet in all the galaxy, figuring it will lead them to Abeloth herself.

Most of this plot is really well done, and had me anticipating what would happen next each time the plot turned to another set of characters. Unfortunately, I feel like Tahiri’s trial get’s a bit of a short shrift – after all the set-up and build-up in prior novels, the trial just comes to an immediate resolution in a very short amount of time. I understand the reasoning behind it, so it’s not a case where I think the author made a poor decision, but I rather wanted to see the Star Wars justice system really take the forefront in this book, instead of it playing just this minor part. I couldn’t help but feel that the Klatooine story was almost tacked on to the end of the book. The bulk of the action has already taken place, the main plot as it were, before the reader is ever taken to Klatooine. The slavery plot has seemed a bit like filler in some of the prior books of this series, and it’s not a lot different here.

For the most part, I enjoyed Conviction thought I’m not sold on the fact that both in this book and in Backlash the author revisited planets from older Star Wars books that I didn’t find all that interesting the first time around. In general it may just not have been a very interesting idea to have this “revisiting the past” thing that Fate of the Jedi is doing as the over-arching idea behind the series, but that isn’t necessarily the fault of any one particular author. I look forward to seeing some of these plot lines begin to wrap up in Ascension (the next book in the series), so in any case, the novel achieved its objective in ramping up my anticipation for the next Fate of the Jedi book. Even more, I look forward with great anticipation to reading Aaron Allston’s return to the X-Wing novels with a new book in that series in 2012.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

09 May 11

the Wonderful World of Color
We went back to Catal for breakfast because we liked it so much and their patio was so nice. Then we spent the day at California Adventure. We saw a fucking incredible stage production of Aladdin, and in the evening staked out a spot to watch The Wonderful World of Color, which is sort of a fountain/light/projector show on the water. But words can't describe how amazing it is. The photo above might give you an idea, but it's hard to capture scenes from Disney movies being projected onto a screen of water, or rainbow jets of water five stories high.
A few more photos here.

08 May 11

Monstro
Our first day in Disneyland happened to be Bat Day so there were a lot of parasols. And a lot of adorable goth children. After we'd all managed to get sunburned, we had dinner at a Mediterranean restaurant called Catal, and due to the enticing nature of tapas, ended up with a bill as long as my forearm.
A few more photos here.

Giveaway! "Nerd Do Well" by Simon Pegg (U.S. Only)

I don't typically do autobiographies as giveaways, but when the people at Gotham Books asked if I was interested in doing a giveaway for Simon Pegg's new book, Nerd Do Well: A Small Boy's Journey to Becoming a Big Kid, I knew I had to make an exception. Pegg is one of those guys who seems to get geek mindset because he lives it. ~And he was in Shaun of the Dead.



The unique life story of one of the most talented and inventive comedians, star of Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, and Star Trek.



Zombies in North London, death cults in the West Country, the engineering deck of the Enterprise: actor, comedian, writer and self-proclaimed supergeek Simon Pegg has been ploughing some bizarre furrows in recent times. Having landed on the U.S. movie scene in the surprise cult hit Shaun of the Dead, his enduring appeal and rise to movie star with a dedicated following has been mercurial, meteoric, megatronic, but mostly just plain great.

From his childhood (and subsequently adult) obsession with science fiction, his enduring friendship with Nick Frost, and his forays into stand-up comedy which began with his regular Monday morning slot in front of his twelve-year-old classmates, Simon has always had a severe and dangerous case of the funnies.



Whether recounting his experience working as a lifeguard at the city pool, going to Comic-Con for the first time and confessing to Carrie Fisher that he used to kiss her picture every night before he went to sleep, or meeting and working with heroes that include Peter Jackson, Kevin Smith, and Quentin Tarantino, Pegg offers a hilarious look at the journey to becoming an international superstar, dotted with a cast of memorable characters, and you're rooting for him all the way.




Just add your information to the form below to enter (all information is guaranteed confidential and will be discarded once the contest ends) and I will randomly pick one winner by Thursday June 9th. No multiple entries-- all multiple entries will be disqualified. Open in the U.S. only.



Good luck.



**Contest Closed**

variations on a trench coat: i was perfect

This is a pretty boring outfit, so I started taking my clothes off in the hopes that it would get more interesting.

Trench coat: FoxRun, mother's. Gray sweatshirt: Target. Brown top: Apt 9 via Kohl's. Blue and white polka dotted pleated skirt: courtesy of Christine. Green leggings: American Apparel, courtesy of Christine. Rain boots: Hunter via Zappos.

It didn't really, but I did get an awkward between-poses photo that made me look like I was flapping my wings, which is why I call this variation on a trench coat...

Variation VII: I'M THE SWAN QUEEN!!!



Clearly the animation skills I acquired when learning how to make blinkies ~2004 are not adequate for my current GIF-making ambitions.

(Revisiting 2004: AHHHHHH YOU GUYS THESE ARE FROM WHEN I WAS ON GEOCITIES! I can't decide if these are awesome or awful. Probably both.







I don't know why, but I became obsessed with the phrase "My heart belongs to a secret agent" for a while.



And the phrase "decidedly pretty."



OKAY THIS IS ACTUALLY ADORABLE. I love me for loving Harry Potter.

This post has enhanced your life.)