pilot, can you help me?

AIRPLANE ATTIRE!

Notes to the world:

1. If you're going to pass through a metal detector at airport security, it would be wise to plan ahead and NOT insert half a pack of bobby pins in your hair that morning, leading to the TSA man asking if you are wearing any belts or carrying a cell phone, or if you have any metal on your person, followed by you looking down at your atrocity of a sweater which has beading and metallic thread and sequins and offering, "Maybe my sweater?" and looking up to see the TSA man's lone cocked eyebrow, before realizing, "Oh! I have a lot of bobby pins in my hair," followed by "Oh! You do. Well. If you don't want to take your hair down we can just bring you over here to get patted down," followed by you being led to a clear cell and being publicly patted down by a TSA lady.


2. My male flight attendant totally said "That's a nice sweater," as I exited the plane.


3. This post at cuffington saved my feet because I Scotch taped my heels and then LOOK MA, NO BLOOD! (No, really, there was blood last time I wore my Kork-Ease flats. This leather is going to take a while to soften.)
   

Sunglasses: Forever21. Green t-shirt: shirt.woot!, gift. Shorts: GAP, mother's + scissors. Tights: generic. Socks: no idea. Sandals: Miz Mooz. Flats: Kork-Ease. Sweater abomination: aunt's, hand-me-down.