21 Things I Have Learned In My Life So Far: So You Want To Be A 20-Year-Old Getting a Humanities Degree Instead of a Computer Science Degree

Because I like lists, and everyone should want to take life advice from someone who still can't legally drink and is going to be unemployed post-grad.

1. For every 10 minutes of solid crying, drink one cup of water.


2. After spending any extended period of time in the hospital, disinfect the bottoms of your shoes.


3. Always rinse your mouth after vomiting. Brush your teeth if you can.


4. Sometimes when you have inexplicable crushes on people, it’s not because you want to do them; it’s because you want to be them.


5. If you’re studying or reading and you’re losing focus, break open a can of tuna or eat peanut butter straight from the jar. (Yay protein!) If you can spare the time, scrambled eggs with ketchup are great, too.


6. If you’re coding, stay up as late as you want. If you’re debugging, go to bed before midnight and don’t look at your code until you wake up.


7. The ChromeTaster extension for Google Chrome makes it possible to download any audio files posted on tumblr.


8. Front-load trumps top-load, always.


9. If you really need to stop yourself from crying (or at least from producing tears; this doesn’t help with that racking-sob-feeling), roll your eyes. Or cross them. Tilt your head back and count ceiling tiles.


10. There are people who like musicals and people who don’t.


11. When buying jeans, the most important thing aside from fit is pocket placement because they will make or break your ass.


12. When browsing for books of interest, read the first few pages and a couple smack in the middle. If both are good, consider buying it.


13. If you are making a pie crust from scratch and want a flaky crust, your butter should be pretty much frozen solid before you add it into your dough.


14. The more unnatural the lipstick color, the more likely you will want to apply it with a lip brush (for a matte lip) or finger-mix it with gloss in the palm of your hand (for a good dull shine).
    


15. Do not wear thigh-highs unless you are prepared to deal with cat-callers.


16. Avoid scheduling classes after noon. Also avoid large gaps of free time between classes.


17. Film is not less respectable than live theater; it’s just that it’s easier to watch crap movies than to watch crap theater. Watch better movies.


18. You have chronic bitchface.


19. If you need to make or take an important phone call, put on high heels and walk around a few times, then sit down to talk.


20. There is rarely any need to buy full-size perfume bottles. Do it if the scent is being discontinued, but otherwise, you’ll never use the whole thing.


21. It’s easier to wake up if you have a half-glass of water before bed, because as soon as you’re awake enough to realize you’re in bed, you’ll realize how much you need to go to the bathroom.

Look, it's David Tennant in drag!

Aaaaand I would still hit that, which is making my watch of Doctor Who, Series 4 a little awkward.

And a little foxy.