psa: CRAZY PILLS, deux

Hello, world.

1. The deadline to withdraw from summer classes is today. Today is almost over. I am not withdrawing. I think this means I have made it to the other side of this summer. Hey there, other side. I didn't think I was going to see you. Special thanks to Tony, Stephanie, Steven, and Ravi. I am still here.


2. I get to buy myself a celebratory self-promise/marriage/right-hand/Sam-you're-so-awesome ring when I am done, even if I flunk math and get a C in computer science.


3. I know that I like computer science for the people, but I also get really excited for select parts of the curriculum (e. g. anything that has to do with the internet and information systems). Which is perfectly okay. And really - really - CS61A is the second most interesting class I've taken at Cal. Or possibly the most interesting.


4. At most, today is only like the 10th day in the past 6 weeks that I haven't seen my lab partner at least once.

Two weeks to go!

Lately I've only been wearing skinny jeans, flats/sneakers, and t-shirts with hoodies. Here's something I wore like 2 weeks ago:

Above, t-shirt: probably Threadless. Dress: mother's, hand-me-down. Tights: generic. Oxfords: Payless.

Now... time for a typical Friday night doing computer science homework. Yeahhhhh.

Vroom vroom!

So I've always been a fan of classic cars but I've never owned one. I don't know anything about fixing them or anything but I cant help but love them. I'm looking into getting one for my next car and I'm super excited and becoming kind of obsessive.

I especially love vintage Mercedes Benz's! They just don't make cars like this anymore...

Such beautiful lines.

I think my favorite is from 1969, though most of the ones from the '60s are pretty sweet.

I'm imagining driving around in one of these and feeling pretty awesome. I also think the photo potential is pretty amazing ;)
Till then I've done some pretty high tech photoshopping. haha. Dreaming out loud...

"Oh hey guys. Just doin some shopping on Rodeo Drive. No biggie. What's that? You want a photo?? Suuuure."

"What? Oh no no, I didn't dress to compliment my car color. Oh you like it? Why thank you... And you want me to be a famous actress and model and you'll pay be a billion kajillion dollars to do so? Oh no, I couldn't."

"I'm just on my way to hang out with all my rapper friends. They said they didn't want to have a party unless I was coming so I better go... Snoop hates when I'm tardy for the party."


Do any of you have older cars?? What kind?

xox

fffffuuuuuuuuu

Oh my God. I don't know anymore. If you haven't spoken to me in the past three hours, you have no idea what my plans are because my plan changes every few hours.

I don't know.

But I really like the people.

-----

[EDIT:

I mean, how do you walk away when everyone EVERYONE is begging you to stay? When everything is quiet, I know what I want to do, and it isn't this, so why am I hesitating? Because I have a history of not making risky decisions? Because my lab partner is crazymazing and offers to cook me dinner and help me with my math homework and do my math homework and devote her free time to helping me pass? Because my TA offered up his roommate free of charge for one-on-one math tutoring so I can stay in computer science without withdrawing? Why? WHY? DO I LIKE THE SUBJECT OR DO I LIKE THE PEOPLE? Does it even fucking matter?

This goddamn treadmill is going too fast.

/EDIT]

Shoe Burger?

My kinda food...

(photo: thisiswhyyourefat.com)

inception

I just want you all to know that if I were navigating someone's mind, I would want my totem to be a piece of jewelry. Not sure how that would work balance-wise, but it would be something completely badass. Like this ring.

Above, persephone's jewel by BloodMilk, $115 on etsy

Although honestly since I can only have Joseph Gordon-Levitt in my dreams, I'd just stay there and try to not wake up.


KINDLY GET INTO MY PANTS, SIR.

Over the River and Through the Woods...

To Grandmother's House We Go! Ok, not really. I mean, we live by the beach and my g-ma is about 10 minutes away. But you know what I mean.


Today I took my Grandma to lunch. My Grandma is a super stylish French-Moroccan who is always up on the latest designers and trends. In fact- she gave me a stack of magazine tears today, which is so beyond cute... I mean, I told her I wanted to hire her as my assistant! She pulls some really great stuff from all her Parisian mags.
ANYWAY- so lunch with Granny means no slacking off in the outfit department. I love to surprise her with new shoes each time I visit. She totally gets a kick of how high I will go. Today was no exception.

(The wild Louboutin Espadrelle wedge, in it's natural habitat.)

These babies are sky high. What else is new, right? ;)

They look even higher from the side!

(dress- Forever21, tank- Made, necklace- VanCleef, belt- Urban Outfitters, bag- Alexander Wang, shoes- Christian Louboutin)

Have a lovely weekend!! It's so beautiful out here... hopefully where you are too!

**By the way, I'm almost at a thousand followers so if you haven't already, you should click "follow" over there ----------------->
Thanks!!

xoxo

clarification

For most of last week, this week, and yesterday, I was feeling like


Here's what went down, in script form, because this is my usual medium.

(Thursday morning. SAM has been spiraling into a shithole of self-doubt and reluctance to continue her summer courses because of a combination of factors, the tipping point being WILL jab-jabbing her with the implication that her unhappiness is born of trying to please other people.)

(SAM is sitting in a little ball outside her lecture hall watching a centipede crawl by. The third fucking centipede in three days.)

SAM: I cannot do this. Why am I doing this? The most satisfying things I have ever done and was happiest doing are theater and writing, or a combination of both. Why am I doing this to myself? Am I good enough? Do I believe in myself enough to walk away from security and pursue something I haven't touched in years? Can writers pay their bills? What should I write about? Can I be a novelist? Can I be a playwright?
WILL (disembodied voice): YOUR PARENTS MUST BE SO HAPPY.
SAM: OMG, PLEASE SHUT UP. SHUT UP!
STEPHANIE: Hi, Samantha.
SAM: Stephanie, I can't do this.
STEPHANIE: Yes you can. You are awesome.
SAM: No. I can't. Why am I doing this? I like the people. I like the subject largely because I need to like the subject. I am going to flunk my math class. I like to write. I am not a technical person at heart.
TA: Hi, Samantha.
SAM: (gives her TA the stinkeye)
TA (to STEPHANIE, whispering): Does Samantha hate me?
SAM: So, if I withdraw from all my classes, can I still do the project with Stephanie?
TA: ...I think so?
STEPHANIE: What?! WHAT! You're not going to try to convince her to stay?
TA: Uh... Samantha. You're a good student. And your bio was really funny.
STEPHANIE: THAT'S ALL YOU CAN COME UP WITH?
TA: It was like the funniest thing I've ever read! IN MY LIFE.
SAM: That's really sad because I don't even remember what I wrote on it.
TA: You wrote about... getting eaten by a shark... and Lady Gaga.
SAM: Ohhh... but I drew a single line through it. That means you're not supposed to read it. It doesn't count. Like on the AP tests.
TA: That made it EVEN FUNNIER.
STEPHANIE: CAN WE STAY ON TASK HERE?

(Meanwhile, SAM has been distress-texting LING-LING, her MA, SUNSHINE, and her study group member AMIL.)

SAM: MA, I really don't think I can do this anymore. Ling-Ling, I can't do this. Sunshine, I'm freaking out. Amil, can you tell our tutor I'm dropping out and going to join the circus? Also, I won't be taking the quiz today.
AMIL: Okay, just make sure to do it soon or they might charge you.
LING-LING: Stop it. Yes we can.
SUNSHINE: Sorry to hear, dude.
MA: WHAT'S WRONG? ARE YOU ACTUALLY FLUNGING YOUR MATH CLASS? ARE YOU SURE IT IS NOT THAT YOU ARE DISAPPOINTED IN PEOPLE. IS IT ME OR FAMILY STUFF?

(SAM runs into the bathroom to cry.)

TA: I told you she hates me.

(SAM returns.)

SAM: Stephanie, do you want me to do the project with you anyway? I'll do it. I just won't finish the class.
STEPHANIE: No. No, you don't have to.
SAM: But that's awful.
STEPHANIE: ...Please stay!!!

(In the elevator.)

GIRL: Oh, hi!
STEPHANIE: Why are you going to the second floor? There's no exit there.
SAM: My life has no exit.
GIRL: We're taking our quizzes right now! It's going to run over into when the potluck starts.
STEPHANIE: Huh. I can bring you food if you want.
GIRL: Okay!

(SAM and STEPHANIE are walking back to their apartments. STEPHANIE is trying to convince SAM to stay.)

SAM (internal monologue): Every time I put my foot down, I am bringing myself farther away from this building where my shot at security is stored. And every time I put my foot down, I can hear my steps echoing with the weight of WHAT THE HELL DO I DO NOW? WHERE IS MY PLAN B?
SAM (aloud): Wow, I'm really dramatic.
STEPHANIE: You can say that again.
SAM: Wow, I'm really dramatic.
STEPHANIE: What are you even going to do if you don't do computer science? LINGUISTS DON'T GET JOBS!!!
SAM: I know. Goddammit. I have so much foresight, you know that. I think my lack of a Plan B just successfully scared me back into doing this.
STEPHANIE: REALLY? OKAY, LET'S GO! C'MON, YOU'RE TAKING YOUR QUIZ WITH THE OTHER GROUP RIGHT NOW.
SAM: Oh my God. The Universe is fucking with me. How do random things add up so well?

(SAM is taking her quiz. STEPHANIE is working on homework nearby. Enter TA.)
TA: What are you doing here?
STEPHANIE: Dude, I convinced her to take her quiz. And maybe stay.
TA: Oh... okay... Well I'm going to go get pizza for the potluck.
SAM: Oh cool let me chip in -
TA: MONEY! (runs off with SAM's money)
SAM: Well that was successful.

(Potluck.)
TA: Hi, Samantha. I realized you can't eat pizza because you're lactose intolerant. So I bought you a fruit cup.
SAM: Thank you! I am so touched!
TA: STEPHANIE, why are you eating all of the pizza?!
STEPHANIE: I'm having ONE SLICE. The other one's for this girl taking her quiz right now.
SAM: She's eating the slice that I gave you five bucks for.
TA: EXCUSE ME, WHOSE FRUIT CUP ARE YOU EATING?
STEPHANIE: HERS. IT'S HERS. YOU GAVE IT TO HER. AS A GIFT.
TA: Oh right. Well I felt bad because you couldn't eat any of my cupcakes -
SAM: NOBODY WANTS YOUR CUPCAKES.

TA (to STEPHANIE): No, seriously, does she hate me?

(Over a game of Set, the card game)
PERSON: SET! (grabs cards)
ALL: AWWW/DANGIT/NOOO!/ARGH!
PERSON: SET - FALSE ALARM!
ALL: AWWW!!!!/DANGIT!!!!!/NOOOO!!!!/ARGH!!!
SAM: SET!!! (lunges across table for cards)
PROF/LECTURER: NOOOO!
SAM: SUCK IT.
ALL: (tittering)
SAM: (facepalm) Shit I really did just said that to my PROF/LECTURER.

(At around midnight after we've all developed bruises on our thighs from playing clapping rhythm games and sore throats from yelling.)

STEPHANIE: Okay. You want me to help you with your math homework that's due tomorrow?
SAM: Do you know that you're the best person ever?
STEPHANIE: I like to be reminded.

(Today.)

(SAM walks into Walgreen's to buy a box of Dots candy so she can present it to STEPHANIE with the note "Stephanie, you are the car to my cdr.")

And the winner is...

Okay so I haven't heard back from Shabby Apple yet, but the winner of the Shabby Apple giveaway is Chasing Davies! An email will be making its way to you... as soon as I figure out what info they need.

That was anticlimactic.

Bang Bang... My Baby Shot Me Down

The hubby and I went out for date night to celebrate the amazing fact that he and his team are nominated for an Emmy for their animated short. I am SO proud of him!! Super exciting. :)

I threw on my new dress from Betsey Johnson and my favorite jacket and these super sexy L.A.M.B. heels and off we went.

I love the gun print. Girly and bad ass at the same time. So Betsey.

(dress- Betsey Johnson, jacket- Sylvia Rielle, belt- Streets Ahead, shoes- L.A.M.B.)

psa: crazy pills, and some sanity

I have a winner for the Shabby Apple giveaway, but I AM OFFICIALLY OUT OF SCHEDULED POSTS.

Will be back. I promise. (Well, I'll announce the winner as soon as I hear back from Shabby Apple, but other than that, I will just be a posting fail for a while.)

Independence Day, 2010

The only kind of footwear anyone should be concerned about on the 4th of July...

Modelled by my dear friend Dave Locke. Thanks dude! ;)

My little sis Katie and I rode our bikes around all day and then stopped by my friend's house for a little BBQ action....

My favorite house for a backyard party. I love it!

The only accessories you need today...

and

Good friends = good times.

I hope everyone had a happy healthy 4th of July! 

I'll be back tomorrow with a new shoe post :)

short stack

Dear Men,

This may shock you, but I am generally not willing to give you the time of day if you are overweight, middle-aged, and leaning out of your truck window vocally trying to get my attention at a red light.

Signed,
Samantha & Most College-Aged Women

For my other open letters to men, see here and here.

If, however, you are hella classy like Mark and want to eat lunch at La Note with me so we can talk about school and our lives and religion and personal crises, you can bet I'll be there.

Especially because La Note has really good pancakes and sugar rectangular prisms. Okay.

Above, t-shirt: Napoleon in War Paint, Threadless. Blazer: City Triangles, secondhand via Goodwill. Round tortoise-shell frame sunglasses: Claire's. Jeans: Forever21. Flats: Palladium.

I can see you from Mars.

FACT: If you ever get stranded on a desert island, I should be your #3 item to bring along, after food and water. Signal flares not necessary.

This shirt is kind of a fake shirt because it's too long to be a shirt, but it isn't really a tunic because of the slit things on the side. Plus the awkward sleeve length and shoulder pads mean this is more of a disaster than anything else. This is from my second aunt's closet, and she says the front is supposed to be tied (like... a cowgirl, or schoolgirl Britney), but that leaves the back ponderously long and pointless.

In any case.

Above, yellow and black polka-dotted thing: hand-me-down. Floral belt: Goodwill. Jeans: Forever21. Flats: Palladium.

SUCK IT UP, FOOL

SELF. YOU NEED TO CALM THE FUCK!! DOWN. WHAT ARE YOU SO SCARED OF? YEAH? IS THAT SCARIER THAN WALKING OUT ON YOUR FAMILY?

DIDN'T THINK SO.

Remember. You might not have a Plan B, but you do have time to come up with a Plan B.

Learn how to fail better.

Remember, you have an amazing lab partner, and there are people who think you can do this.

Note to self: You only need to pass.

Also, anxiety is really unattractive.

inappro

I feel like this might not be the best thing to wear to class for a male-dominated course you're not sure you'll do well in. Especially when your button falls off partway through math lecture. And then you have to do face-to-face oral grading with your computer science reader while surreptitiously clutching your shirt closed.

Above, shirt: Forever21. Jeans: Forever21. Flats: Palladium.

[EDIT: I'm adding this the night before this post is going up, because I'm pretty sure I just bombed a whole section on my computer science midterm. Stereotypes confirmed. /EDIT]