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Monday, September 13, 2010

19 Things You Should Know How To Do By The End Of Your Teens (For The Ladies)

I originally wrote this thinking I would be writing 99 other lengthy entries over the course of the following 99 days, but I’m too lazy, and I’m going to turn 20 soon, so I thought now would be an appropriate a time as any to publish this.

So I keep hearing about writing 100 articles in 100 days just to get content flowing on your blog. I don't claim this to be a writing-based blog (or even a fashion or style blog, really), but I like the idea and I think my writing chops need exercise. So here's my first non-article because I think 100 Wordy Posts in 100 days is quite enough, thanks. Without further ado, 19 things I think I and other 19-year-old ladies should know how to do before I am no longer a teenager (insert subject-verb agreement problems):
  1. Walk in high heels. Especially if you're dressed to the nines, because it's embarrassing to hobble. (Or to be a friend of the hobbling girl who clearly hasn't yet learned to walk in heels. I mean, come on, is Ne-Yo singing about the girl who walks like a boss and talks like a boss (and has manicured nails to set the pedicure off), or who HOBBLES LIKE A PIRATE WITH SCURVY AND A WOODEN LEG?)

  2. Write a check (at least for rent). I believe now would be an appropriate time for this RENT song:


  3. Say no (includes declining drinks, romantic advances, and people who eat your time). (Not that I've declined drinks.) (NOT THAT I'VE HAD THEM OFFERED.) (Regarding people who eat your time: The Art of Radical Exclusion via The Art of Non-Conformity)

  4. Flirt with anyone and anything, including inanimate objects and people you are not romantically interested in.

  5. Do your laundry without ruining your clothes.

  6. Cook, especially breakfast foods.

  7. Take flattering photos. (...This is only half-joking, but if you need to work on this one, I'd suggest starting a blog. You learn pretty quickly what looks good and what doesn't. I usually just aim for "good enough" though.)

  8. Above, worth reposting because this is such a flattering photo! Do as I say, not as I do.

  9. Apply makeup (at least eyeliner, mascara, and lipstick). FUN FACT (hi George): I'm not an eye makeup person, but even I have never found a satisfactory drugstore mascara. Imju Fiberwig all the way! Lipstick-wise, I'm a big fan of MAC Slimshine and Wet 'n' Wild mixed with Vaseline.

  10. Book your own flight. (I've never even flown by myself, what is this?)

  11. Hail a cab. (The opportunities for this are kind of sparse, but I feel like it's something I should know how to do, especially since I consciously omitted driving cars from this list.)

  12. Talk to adults (oh God) – because you are one.

  13. Select produce. (I'd like to take this moment to direct your attention to that time in high school when I wanted to write up a post but had a huge assignment due the next morning so instead I posted a picture of a moldy orange:



    Your life has just been enhanced by this image.)

  14. Swim. (I GOT THIS!)

  15. Accept a compliment.

  16. Sew.

  17. Be rejected.

  18. Forgive, and apologize.

  19. Thrift, or buy secondhand. (I really do think everyone should know how to shop secondhand in a way that works for him or her, especially because it's 2010 and we should be using the crap out of everything we own before looking for new stuff. I'm being hypocritical because I like shiny new things as much as the next person, but I don't think there should be any stigma attached to secondhand anymore, not when it makes so much environmental sense.)

  20. Speak in front of a crowd. (Easy peasy.)
...I have yet to learn how to say no, book my own flights, hail a cab, talk to adults, and be rejected. Chances of me mastering these before I hit 20? Next to nil.

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