TiK ToK

Last last Friday went like this:

SAM: I'm going to go incognito today.

IMAGINARY AUDIENCE: You mean like trench coat, sunglasses, and thick Russian accent incognito?

SAM: No, like jeans and a nondescript t-shirt.

IMAGINARY AUDIENCE: We are disappoint.

SAM: Oh, look! Choosing an incognito outfit has resulted in me having a full extra ten minutes this morning! I will be a responsible student and go to class early and review the reading I read last night for the lecture today! (grabs keys and is out the door because she is going to hit the city)

SAM'S HOMEWORK: OHANA MEANS FAMILY, AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY -

(DOOR SLAM.)

(In the historical linguistics classroom.)

SAM: Ahaha! I am so early! I will sit in the back of the classroom to leave the easily accessible seats in the front for any latecomers, and I will read ahead because I have so! Much! Time!

CLOCK: Tick tock.

K: Hey Samantha.

SAM: Hey!

K: You do your homework?

CLOCK: Tick tock.

SAM: Yep! That last problem was a beast.

K: Yeah, it was. What did they say that comma diacritic was anyway?
SAM: I forgot, but I wrote it down. Let me check!

CLOCK: Tick tock.

SAM: HOLY MOTHER OF ADVANCED TONGUE ROOT! I LEFT MY HOMEWORK AT MY APARTMENT!

K: Well you have -

CLOCK: TICK TOCK.

K: - four minutes. Do you live close enough?

SAM: I guess I do.

K: I think you should go get it. He'll just think you came in late.

SAM: Good idea.

CLOCK: LULZ!

(SAM is speed-walking back to her apartment.)

SUN: LULZ! Let me shine on you so you break a sweat!

FRESHMEN: LULZ! Let us congregate in large groups that obstruct the entire sidewalk!

TRAFFIC SIGNALS: LULZ! We're never going to change!

(SAM is a hot mess when she arrives at her apartment, slamming the door open)

SAM'S HOMEWORK: - GETS LEFT BEHIND!

SAM: HOMEWORK!

SAM'S HOMEWORK: SAM!

(A tearful reunion.)

(SAM is speed-walking back to class.)

SUN: LULZ! Let me shine on you so you break a sweat!

FRESHMEN: LULZ! Let us congregate in large groups that obstruct the entire sidewalk!

TRAFFIC SIGNALS: LULZ! We're never going to change!

(SAM arrives for her linguistics class a full twenty minutes late, sweating and causing a ruckus making her way to the back of the classroom where she left her stuff.)

PROFESSOR: Hem hem.

SAM: Professor Umbridge?
PROFESSOR: ...Who?

SAM: Oh, sorry. Yes, sir?

PROFESSOR: Wouldn't you like to turn in your homework?
SAM: OH RIGHT.

(SAM makes her way back to the front of the classroom to turn in her homework, then makes her way back to the back.)

SAM: Well that was embarrassing.

K: Haha.

SAM: Man I bet I'm the last person to show up.

(Ten minutes later, with twenty minutes of lecture left, DANIEL walks in, turns in his homework, sits down, and proceeds to blow his nose.)

CLOCK: Tick tock.

(After class.)

SAM: Dude! Why were you late for class? I left my homework at my apartment!

DANIEL: My alarm didn't go off!

SAM: Okay now I feel less dumb because you were later than I was.

DANIEL: That was really embarrassing. And I literally woke up and came here without showering or anything, so I'm all sweaty and gross.

SAM: Me too. I'm gonna go home and change.

DANIEL: Me too.

SAM: High five.

Which is why the only photographic evidence I have of that day features jewelry, which, while probably sweaty, didn't require changing: