boobs, gaussian blur, and other things that were never an option

I wore this to go watch X-Men: First Class last summer (YEAH, WOW, HI. THIS IS A TIMELY AND RELEVANT BLOG).

This may be hard to believe, but I really liked how flat-chested this sweater made me look. (Not that I am always anti-boobs. I just felt like looking extra flat-chested that day.)


Unfortunately, I spent so much time beforehand hearing about the movie through the distortive filter that is tumblr, that by the time I actually got around to watching it, I was under the impression that it was going to be a movie about a groovy mutant and a shark who fall in love because peace was never an option.

Shoes. Thanks, Legolas John Watson.

I hope you hover over this image and take note that its filename is foot-fetishists-were-never-an-option.JPG because I am still getting hits from people Googling things like "Keds fetish."

(When Michael Fassbender as Erik appeared onscreen swimming in the dark, choppy sea, baring his teeth, I almost started laughing in the theater because I was thinking of the Jaws theme.)


As a result, when I went to take these pictures, I tried to be like Charles and mind-bend everything in sight.

Nothing happened. But at least I got the McAvoy eyebrow down.


When that failed, I tried to channel my inner Michael Fassbender shark Erik and, like, bend metal and stuff.

Nothing happened. I didn't even get my teeth visible enough. So I did some minor photo retouching.

Sweater: uncle's, hand-me-down. Light pink thermal: Old Navy, gift. Shorts: aunt's, hand-me-down. Tights: generic. Fake Keds: Payless. Magneto helmet: MS Paint. Gaussian blur: image editing prowess.