ma-scare-a

Reading this article by Sonja on TheCoveted, in conjunction with it being a new year and all, I decided to finally chuck my old makeup. I'd heard about it being unsafe to use old makeup before, but the last time I cleaned out my makeup bag was in junior year of high school, when I said goodbye to a drawer full of Lip Smackers and Bonne Bell.

I have just thrown away...

Victoria's Secret body spray, of the variety that some girls decided could double as deodorant after PE, Aveeno self-tanner that makes my legs an unnatural shade of brown, three bottles of Victoria's Secret lotion that could probably be used as household inhalants, my YSL mascara, which was godly and non-clumping but is old, a bare escentuals lipliner that was extremely drying and which I used as eyeliner at one point, Lancome's Fatale mascara, which is completely useless and kind of dangerous, two heavily-scented lotions from Canada's Buchart Gardens from a family trip in 2007?, a Bath & Body Works gift lotion that smells like burning plastic mixed with fruit, old sample Clinique makeup, including a liquid lipstick in a shade called "Plushy" which is really sexy, if you can say that about a lip color, Maybelline Great Lash, which is, like some people, extremely flaky, an old Origins lip gloss from high school, which is really cute for holiday season but a little too nightwalker for daytime, some old nude lipstick that smells heavenly but I never used because honestly I don't need to look more pale, and CoverGirl foundation, which I never used for foundation because it is ridiculously obvious-looking.

And now my makeup bag is reduced to...

Urban Decay 24/7 Liner, which has an amazing consistency, Rimmel eyeliner, which has a horrible consistency but isn't old enough to justify throwing away yet, Wet 'n' Wild lip gloss with chunks of glitter, because sometimes I like to look like I'm 12, C. O. Bigelow Mentha Lip Shine, because it's the adult version of glitter and tastes delicious, MAC Slimshine in Swelter, because it is my holy grail of lip color, three Burt's Bees, although I only use Rhubarb, Maybelline blush, for when I want to look less sickly, Wet 'n' Wild lipstick that is obnoxiously bright, Wet 'n' Wild lipstick that is obnoxiously dark, two Burt's bees lip balms, a very pretty balm/gloss from Ananda Organics, a bronze lipstick from Benefit that I never use but is too new to justify throwing away, and Rosebud Salve because I love me a greasy lip balm.

I also wanted to see if mascara really is about the brush, so I cleaned off all my mascara wands to compare.

Above, Clinique.

Above, also Clinique.

Above, Lancome's Fatale.

Above, Maybelline Great Lash.

Above, YSL.

So from my experience with mascara (admittedly, it is a limited one, as my eyelashes are naturally fairly long and mostly need curling, not volume or length), the brush makes all the difference in the world. Honestly, I can barely tell what the difference is between Maybelline Great Lash and my YSL mascara, other than the price. Sure, Maybelline flakes after a shorter time, so there must be some difference in formula quality, but they add about the same color, length, and volume to my eyelashes. And if you look at the YSL and Great Lash brushes, they have the same shape. Maybe it only happens to be suited for girls who need curl (and nothing else), but it's the brush, the BRUSH!

I would like to justify my claim with a quote from a previous mini-review of Lancome's Fatale mascara, which has the stupid triangular monster plastic wand:

"Even after watching numerous instructional YouTube videos and actually stabbing myself in the eye with the mascara wand, I haven't figured out how to use this without ending up looking like I have 6 eyelashes. At least it was free from that cosmetics settlement thing."

There you have it. My face paint.